Be the First to Make the Move

There are so many movies and books out; girl meets guy, guy pursues girl, and eventually wins her. The guy makes the move; the guy pursues. Women expect to be chased, wined and dined, approached, asked out, and deny at will. Of course, I can’t speak for all women.

Myself; I grew believing it best that a man be the purser. In my mind, it was the natural/ right order of courtship. Yet, there were times I’d eye a man appealing, he’d return similar interest (eye contact; smile), but no pursuit on his part took place. So, I’d take charge. I’d approach him and express interest, however, not always to the desired end.

I’ve heard many women say, myself included, “it’s always the ones you don’t want that do what the ones you do want won’t,” or say some variant of that statement. The men you don’t want are the most bold. The men you don’t want are the most persistent. I’m sure there are men who speak the same of women. Presented with the wait of being approached by a man desired, I don’t allow myself to become frustrated. Instead, I remain diligent in my own affairs: education, work, friends, pursuit of happiness, and financial stability. My focus is to be able to support myself in every aspect. Which also means, growing accustomed to being alone and not allowing loneliness to creep in.

Well, for the most part, I have evaded loneliness and enjoy the single life. To the extent that I don’t feel desperate to find a guy to be in a relationship. Having said all of this, I just want to conclude, in this wait I don’t hesitate to be the one who approaches; be a little fearless, forget the rules, and be the woman who pursues him regardless of how it ends. If he is showing signs of mutual interest, you don’t have to wait for him the express it. Be the first to make the move.

Practicing Boldness,

Alisia Latoi