Introverted Flirting

It’s nearing Valentine’s Day and you’re feeling excited to do some mingling. But here’s the thing, you’re a bit awkward and introverted. Flirtatious is usually linked to someone of the extrovert caliber. Characterized as “playful sexual attraction”, to flirt is thought better suited for the outgoing and sociable. After all, how could someone who spends most time internalized have space for playfulness. An introvert by reputation is shy, reticent, and a seeker of solitude. Although not opposed to social gatherings, an introvert while engaged in interactions will  appear more laid back than excitable. Not withstanding, those that have traits of both introversion and extroversion depending on the situation. As a full-fledged introvert, how do we flirt and make it obvious but not awkward?

Here are some flirting tips for my fellow Introverts:

Smile

Smiling as a way of flirting should come naturally. However, when in the presence of someone you find attractive, you can get stuck in thought, and before you know it your smile is gone. Stay present while engaging in conversation or while listening with a slight upward turn of the lips. Try to have a relaxed smile that doesn’t reveal nervousness. Smiling is the best way to convey interest and friendliness.

Eye contact

Eye contact can be intimidating to maintain, especially when you wear your “thoughts on your face.” If you can master the art of eye contact, it has been proven to aid in establishing a connection between people. The trick is once you make eye contact with the one who interest you, hold their gaze seconds longer than average then look away. This will signal attraction without being creepy.

Slightly touch and lean in (be aware of your posture)

This tip ties in with smiling and eye contact as they are both apart of posture. Lean in and slightly touch. These are non-verbal cues that signal attraction. It is normal to want to be close to someone you are attracted to and probably easy to lean in when near that person. While in close proximity don’t forget to make physical contact when given the opportunity. Slight touches are top tier flirting moves. When you do it, pay attention to their reaction. If eyebrows raise, it’s may mean the feeling is mutual.

Step up your listening skills

While the first three tips are common knowledge of being flirtatious. These next three, I feel are especially unique to introverts. Step up your listening skills. It’s one thing to flirt but it’s an outstanding thing to prove your attentiveness. Showing your understanding through your responses, like asking clarifying questions, can prompt more intrigue and help avoid awkward silences.

Act on your observations

Once you’ve shown that you are actively listening, act on your observations. If you notice he or she is not drinking alcohol or are wearing a particular brand of clothing, inquire about it. Show that you notice even the unspoken details.

Own your shyness

Own your shyness in a way that embellishes the best parts of it. Forget the discomfort and apprehension shyness brings. Remember there are aspects of the trait that can be cute and endearing. Like that of a shy smile. 😊

I am far from an expert and to be frank as an introvert, I don’t even think I flirt. But I do believe flirting is a skill that can be learned if desired. Furthermore, it can be used by not only those single but those In a relationship or married. Flirting can keep a relationship ablaze. Again, I’m not much of one. My typical approach to courtship, is to sit back and let it happen or fall apart all on its own. 😁 Ball is always in your own court.

Much Love and Happy V-Day 💜,

Alisia Latoi

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